A month or so ago, we received news that a certain east coast brother-in-law had cancer. I was at work when I received a quick email and mulled it over in my mind how I should respond. I went with a joke. Yes, it was risky, and I worried for a bit but, let's face it, if you know these east coast nuts, you'd do the same. (I should mention that I say this with the utmost respect.) I wished them the best, tried to pass along positive thoughts and let them know that I had learned to knit and would be happy to make him a stylish hat. And I somewhat nervously asked if I was allowed to make such a comment.
Later, I was relieved to see the reply. They were facing this, as they do anything that life throws their way - with humour. Like this, for example: Mark has cancer of the tonsil. Yes, that's right. Tonsil. He figures that if he's gonna have cancer, it could at least be something manly. How wussy is it telling people you have cancer of the tonsil? Quite honestly, I can see his point.
Mark also wrote that he'd love a hat in any colour but 'barbie pink'; he's in touch with his feminine side but that's a bit too much even for him. (I suggested 'tonsil pink'.) And he signed his note, and I quote - 'thanks for your note and sincerity, Silly Cancerous Uncle Mark (S.C.U.M. for short).
So, why am I writing about this now? Well, we figured it wasn't our place to put all this out there in the blogosphere but since Mark has done just that in the comments here, I'm gonna run with it.
A lesson in hat-making had been booked with Dorito. Unfortunately, she had to go in to work so we'll have to rebook. (Breakfast?) We'll have to pick up the materials. I just can't decide on a colour though. Hmmm. Hey, how about a poll? Yes, let's leave it up to my faithful followers (and I use that term loosely) to decide.
Now, think carefully about this, my backward friends. It's very important that we pick just the right hue for this special hat for S.C.U.M.-b.a.a.g.g. (Silly Cancerous Uncle Mark - but all around great guy). So, vote if you know Mark. Vote if you don't know Mark. Hell, vote if you know Mark and don't particularly like him. What's that? You were googling 'Leonard Nimoy' and tragically ended up here? Vote! All suggestions will be considered.
~Liz
20 comments:
He's gonna get a pom pom put on the hat to boot!
He may give me the boot when he reads this. *bites fingernails*
It seems every family has cancer to deal with cancer in some form or other. I've got a family member who recently kicked its ass and I'm sure your brother will too!
Hmph. That first sentence should have read: It seems every family has to deal with cancer....
Thanks Theresa. He gets the highest marks for attitude that's for sure! And I suspect there may be a smile on his face when he reads this. That or I'm in trouble.
You should knit one of those hats with the braided hair peeking out!
Anonymous - I like your thinking!
A hat with texture! Yay! Or we can make those Peruvian hats with the long side thingys.
How about Viking horns?
how about one viking horn and two pom poms? hee hee
A viking horn, two pom poms and braids. Hmmm. Scarves'll be nothing after this project.
Well, who would have thunk that all this cancer talk would precipitate such a prolific ,rapidly growing and malignant response.
Firstly,I have to pass comment on the Acronym Additive making me sound like a miserable old fart with the addition of 'b.a.g.g' to the original name.brilliant.Thank you.I shall use it with pride...any chance of embroidering onto the hat?
However on the topic of hat colors there is a limit to a cancerous man's expectations.So far the leader is NS tartan which had be gagging at the thought.Being known to wear those silly Scottish skirts on occasion and the one I usually wear has purple in the pattern,the sky blue of the NS tartan makes one look like an advertisement for a second hand car dealership and quite frankly I would not be seen dead wearing anything in that pattern.Now I hear you say 'that may be arranged if the treatment doesn't work 'but we won't go there quite just yet.
People may be wondering why the colors maslin pan/steel and sawdust are included in the esteemed list and one need only come and have a visit to our farm to fully appreciate the last choice however the steel color selection can be clarified from an earlier entry to this blog .
Now, the addition of a pom pom or two would be appreciated but I draw the limit to Viking appendages.Being of British extraction I find that quite offensive especially as I do not like to blow my own horn.
Don't worry about braided hair as it would make me look a bit silly as I don't have that much hair to start with so anything even slightly fake would give the game away.
On a final note I have to say that having developed this nasty growth in my neck has given me the perfect excuse to put down those annoying telemarketers who when asking for my time or asking for money I simply say "sorry cannot hep you at this time- have got cancer"..works every time and of course anyone can use too.
Looks like things are not going to start until Jan 19th so a few more days of binge eating to help me gain a bit more weight before it all starts to disappear during treatment...not a great way to diet that's for sure.
bets wishes SCUMBAGG
**Said with heartfelt sincerity**,
"Good Luck, SCUMBAGG"
Wow, who would have thought that would actually be a nice thing to say?
Good Lord, SCUM-baagg, now you want embroidering too?! Sheesh. Alas, I shall do my best to make you proud. Perhaps I'll pack it in sawdust...you can always use it for the rabbit.
We digress...
I thought the whole point of this hat was to make Liz happy.
And if Liz is happy...everyone's happy. Just thinking of all of you.
Hey, after the hat, you can knit him some mittens and tie them together with a piece of really long string.
YAY!
With all the knitting you're signing me up for, I'm gonna have to get a couple of sheep too. Dorito - you still thinking about that spinning wheel in Port Hope?
SCUMbaag wants to know what the final colour is for the hat so he can prepare himself mentally!
Did SCUMbaagg see the poll? The people have spoken. I'm afraid he's gonna look like a used car dealership advertisement...his worst nightmare. And it kills me to have to do it.
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